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Talking to a partner, and to their family

The register question, meeting parents, and why the film version is not the spoken one.

Most people who learn Hindi for a relationship discover that the hard part is not the partner. It is the family.

With a partner, register is the first decision. तुम is the normal choice between equals and is what most couples use. तू is intimate and, with the wrong person or tone, insulting — learners should leave it alone for the first year. आप between partners exists and sounds formal or affectionately old-fashioned depending on the family.

With parents-in-law, आप always, and जी attached to terms of address. This costs nothing and is noticed immediately. Learning the correct kinship terms for their side of the family is the single highest-return piece of vocabulary you can acquire, and it lands far better than fluent grammar.

मैं तुमसे प्यार करता हूँ (करती हूँ from a woman) is the film sentence. In actual life it is said less often than English speakers expect, and frequently in English. Affection in Hindi tends to live in the diminutives, the food offered, and the honorifics used — not in a declaration.

The realistic goal is usually comprehension of family conversation plus enough production to participate. Say that to a tutor rather than accepting a general course.

Words and phrases for this topic

EnglishHindiSounds like
I like itमुझे पसंद हैmujhe pasand hai
I love youमैं तुमसे प्यार करता हूँmain tumse pyaar karta hoon
I am happyमैं ख़ुश हूँmain khush hoon
I am tiredमैं थक गया हूँmain thak gaya hoon
Don't worryचिंता मत कीजिएchinta mat keejiye
A note on the Hindi spellings

Devanagari is easy to get slightly wrong when it is typed by hand — a missing matra, the wrong nukta. If something here looks off to you, trust a native speaker over this page and please tell us so it gets fixed — it takes a moment and a real person reads it. Romanised spellings are a guide to the sound, not a standard: there is no single official way to write Hindi in Latin letters.

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