English has one word for "you". Hindi has three, and the choice says something about the relationship every single time you speak. Getting it wrong is not a small error — it can be genuinely offensive, or unintentionally cold.
| Word | Use it for | Verb form |
|---|---|---|
| आप aap | elders, strangers, teachers, anyone senior, anyone you are meeting first | आप कैसे हैं? |
| तुम tum | friends, siblings, people your own age you know well, younger colleagues | तुम कैसे हो? |
| तू tu | very close friends, small children, and God in prayer | तू कैसा है? |
Always start with आप. Nobody has ever been offended by being addressed too respectfully. Being addressed too casually by a stranger, on the other hand, lands badly.
The other person will usually tell you when to relax it — "aap mat kaho, tum kaho" means "don't say aap, say tum", and it is a small compliment.
Between close friends it is affectionate and completely normal. From a stranger, or in anger, it is an insult. In parts of north India men use it freely with each other; in others it would start an argument.
As a learner, the honest advice is: do not use तू until someone uses it with you first, and even then only with them. There is nothing you can say with तू that you cannot say with तुम.
This is the part that catches people out — the whole sentence shifts, not just the pronoun:
| आप | तुम | तू | |
|---|---|---|---|
| How are you? | आप कैसे हैं? | तुम कैसे हो? | तू कैसा है? |
| Come | आइए | आओ | आ |
| Sit | बैठिए | बैठो | बैठ |
| Tell me | बताइए | बताओ | बता |
| Listen | सुनिए | सुनो | सुन |
Those आप imperatives — आइए, बैठिए, बताइए — are the ones worth memorising first. They are how you speak to almost everyone you meet as a visitor.
जी — add it to almost anything and it becomes respectful.
हाँ जी (yes) · नहीं जी (no) · जी हाँ (yes indeed) · after a name: प्रकाश जी
It costs one syllable and completely changes how you are received. If you learn nothing else from this page, learn जी.
Within a family the rules are not about age alone. Many people use आप for parents and in-laws throughout their lives, तुम for siblings, and तू only with the closest childhood friends. If you marry into an Indian family, ask — the convention varies by region and by household, and asking is far better than guessing.
More on greeting people correctly is in our guide to Hindi greetings.
Reading about pronunciation only takes you so far — the sounds English does not have need someone listening and correcting you. EkGuru tutors teach one to one, from $6 a lesson, and most offer a trial.
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