Formal and informal Bengali
আপনি, তুমি, তুই — three levels of you, and exactly when to use each.
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Bengali has three yous where English has one: আপনি (apni — formal), তুমি (tumi — familiar), তুই (tui — intimate). আপনি for elders, strangers and officials; তুমি for friends, peers and younger family; তুই for childhood friends, small children and lovers. The beginner rule is simple: start at আপনি with every adult, and accept every invitation down.
Each you drags its own verb endings with it. Sit down: বসুন (boshun — formal), বসো (bosho — familiar), বস (bosh — intimate). To do: করেন, করো, কর. To go: যান, যাও, যা. The endings rhyme in threes across every verb in the language — learn the pattern once on করা and বলা, and you own it everywhere.
Moving down a level is a social ceremony. The elder says তুমি করে বলো (speak to me as তুমি) — sometimes with the words, sometimes with just a smile and a তুমি aimed at you. Mirror what you receive: if they তুমি you, তুমি them back. Asymmetry (they তুমি, you আপনি) is the natural shape of respect toward elders — don't rush to close it.
Above the yous floats one more register: সাধু ভাষা (shadhu bhasha), the old literary style of Tagore's essays, versus চলিত ভাষা (cholito bhasha), the living language of this page. তাহারা খাইতেছেন (they eat, literary) versus তারা খাচ্ছে (they eat, living). Admire the old style in books; speak the living style everywhere — nobody orders tea in সাধু ভাষা.
Words and phrases for this topic
| English | Bengali | Sounds like |
|---|---|---|
| You (formal) | আপনি | apni |
| You (familiar) | তুমি | tumi |
| You (intimate) | তুই | tui |
| Please sit (formal) | বসুন | boshun |
| Please say/tell (formal) | বলুন | bolun |
| Please come (formal) | আসুন | ashun |
| Please go (formal) | যান | jan |
| Please do (formal) | করুন | korun |
| Speak to me as তুমি | তুমি করে বলো | tumi kore bolo |
| Brother (respectful address) | দাদা | dada |
| Sister (respectful address) | দিদি | didi |
| Respectful hello | নমস্কার | nomoshkar |
| Please don't mind | কিছু মনে করবেন না | kichhu mone korben na |
Language, culture, and common traps
Practice: recall, then use
Use this quick recall drill for Formal and informal Bengali. Hide the script and romanisation columns; say the Bengali form for each cue before revealing its row, then check spelling and sound. The phrase-table speaker buttons provide a model when a matching browser voice is available.
- You (formal)
- Please go (formal)
- Please don't mind
Context check. For Formal and informal Bengali, “Please don't mind” belongs to a particular setting. A common mistake is to treat an English gloss as universal; read the language-specific note above and ask a fluent speaker when local usage differs.
Check your recall: answer key
- আপনি apni — You (formal)
- যান jan — Please go (formal)
- কিছু মনে করবেন না kichhu mone korben na — Please don't mind
Questions learners ask
Start with আপনি for every adult you don't know well — it is never wrong, only occasionally too formal, and Bengalis simply smile and invite you down to তুমি. Starting too casual is the only real mistake.
For close friends, children, and affection — তুই with a stranger is an insult, তুই with your best friend is love. Learners should understand it, rarely say it, and let friends invite them into it.
It's the old literary style (সাধু ভাষা) versus today's living language (চলিত ভাষা) — তাহারা versus তারা for they. Read the old style in Tagore; speak the new style everywhere. This page teaches the living one.